Lyme Diaries, Entry 2.

Since my last entry, I have found a bit more information about the strategy. In about a month’s time, I will start a 6-8 month protocol of actively coaxing the Lyme out of hiding and conquering it. My understanding is that it lies dormant within your cells, and to overcome it, you need to first nurture your immune system, and then, when you’re ready, summon the Lyme out of hiding and vanquish it.

The herbs I’ve had thus far are increasing my immune system, and it was expected that they would make me feel unstoppable. Funnily enough, I’m sleepier than I’ve ever been and I have been sleeping 8-12 hours a night, which is incredible. This is the best I’ve ever slept in my life. Now, I’m not exactly waking up refreshed or energetic, I’m actually pretty tired throughout the days as well, but I know that my body is getting really decent rest, for which I am super grateful. So I am unstoppable, but in the sense that I just can’t stop snoozing.

Since my last entry, I’ve also started doing drum lessons again myself - something that sparks so much joy within me. Drumming is something that puts a smile on my face and it’s something that brings me so much genuine happiness. I teach drums for a living so there’s a delicate balance between feeling like I’m obligated to do something and having my own ignited passion when I am playing drums. Doing drum lessons purely for myself is something that has given me so much life force energy, it’s like I’ve finally been plugged back into the socket to recharge.  

It’s funny how all the little things bring your life force energy back. I also love being in the garden, getting some sunshine, reading a book, listening to music just for the sake of listening to music, and dancing. All these things bring my life force energy back and I feel like that’s so important for when you’re struggling with a chronic illness. Because I honestly think that taking the time to do something you truly love brings you back to that childlike manner - where your energy felt infinite, and so did your possibilities. 

We get stuck in the busyness of life these days that every little crevice of free time is filled with something. Checking emails when we are waiting in line at a store (I did this at the post office the other day), scrolling Instagram in our ten minute work break, putting on a podcast when we’re cleaning the house. Our brains need breathing space to think, create and process. Sometimes I think that filling every crevice between tasks drains us so much that we fool ourselves into thinking that we don’t have enough time to do the things that truly fill our cup and make us feel like we’re ourselves again. That make us feel alive again. I want to feel alive again. 

So I’ll keep playing drums. I’ll keep writing, and dancing, and reading books that inspire me, and gardening (even when the plants die sometimes), and enjoying all the little things that make me grin like a child. 

We have the choice. We get to choose how we spend our time, and what we choose to focus on.

And I think that when we’re working with a chronic illness, and something where lethargy is a factor, that’s when we really need to be critical about where we’re spending our energy. Our energy is an investment. I think for myself, if I consider my energy an investment, then I want to place it somewhere where it compounds and builds. I definitely don’t want to be gambling with it (like scrolling social media where sometimes you get a reward, and other times walking away feeling empty and a bit broken and stupid). 

So I’m making a vow to do more things that make me happy, just for the sake of it.

And I’ve gotta say, it’s making me really, really happy.